5 jokes about cleaning - and the same number of rules for self-love

It would be the dream of modern housewives to clean the house and press “Save”. Alas, progress has not yet reached this level. If it is not possible to clean up the mess with someone else’s hands, you will still have to repeat this energy-consuming ritual with unenviable frequency – whether you are an impeccable “fly lady” or a time management guru.

In order not to slip into despondency, we offer a mini-attraction of positive thinking: remember 5 jokes about cleaning and turn them into a daring home manifesto.

1. Protecting workers' rights

A wise wife knows: if you clean less often, the results will be much more obvious!

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Bold? Well, yes. True? Still would! Almost every woman has at least once heard something like “You’ve been sitting at home all day - why are you tired?” After this, you want to test the strength of a just washed frying pan.

Your work, girls, must be appreciated. I have a friend who specifically takes business trips that she might not go on, as she says, for preventive purposes. The husband, having spent a week without homemade cutlets and hot soup, having washed the microwave and the floor in a three-room apartment, does not allow himself to be carelessly reproached. There’s nothing wrong with demonstrating to your household that shirts don’t iron themselves, the toilet doesn’t clean, and dust doesn’t magically disappear.

2. Control over the circulation of rubbish

After general cleaning of the apartment, it was impossible to go out onto the balcony. We cleaned the balcony - the car didn’t fit into the garage.

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Common situation? By the way, crowds of Instagram coaches make money on it. After all, it is important for a person who has been accumulating junk for years to get rid of it with a light heart - and he has to pay for it. “Plyushkin syndrome” is a problem that many manage to solve only with the participation of a psychologist. It's easier, you know, to prevent.

So don't store junk. It is not used in the household and does not bring happiness. Moreover, it deprives you of air - and this is not a metaphor. If a third of your room is occupied by a “wall” with crystal and a binder of Roman Newspapers, these masterpieces of Soviet industry reduce the volume of air you breathe by 6-8 cubic meters. Imagine how much oxygen your lungs do not receive, how your skin, brain and other internal organs suffer when you voluntarily lock yourself in an artificially reduced room. Are your inventory items worth it?

3. Protected objects of emotional heritage

– I was cleaning the house... Does anyone need 3D CCCP calendars from 1989?

– This is not cleaning, this is archeology :)

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Why talk about trash again? Because there is another important idea - about classification.

How do you know what to throw away from the rubble on the balcony and what to leave? It's simple: when you pick up any of the things that have settled in your apartment, you must clearly understand why it is there. An old teapot box won't bring you joy, but a 3D calendar from 1989 just might. But then the calendar should not lie in the depths of a mountain of rubbish, but in a beautiful “memory box” - along with other little things that make you smile nostalgically.

4. The right to sleep and smart choices

Instructions for cleaning the room:

1. Start writing a report.

2. Realize that it is impossible to work in such a mess.

3.Wake up 4 hours later, trying to catch dust particles flying into your crystal-clean apartment from the window.

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We have all been familiar with this wonderful type of procrastination since our student days. What can you do to do nothing? But here’s the catch: sooner or later you’ll still have to write a report, diploma, term paper (or what have you?) With this approach, it is rather late, and even very late.

In this situation, you need to talk to yourself honestly. You are a rational organism, and therefore you must get out of an unpleasant situation with minimal stress. The person who will get up 3 hours early tomorrow and easily complete the postponed task is not a mysterious all-powerful stranger, but the same you, only immensely tired and exhausted from today’s vigorous cleaning. Take care of yourself, beloved. All you need to do is take 5 deep breaths and start doing what you don’t want to do. After 10 minutes, paradoxically, the task will captivate you. This is how our brain works - having started a “game” and getting a little involved, it will not want to give it up, even if the maximum difficulty level is set.

5. Priority projects

Looking at the tired but satisfied hostess, the guests did not realize that it took an hour to clean the apartment to the point of “sorry it’s not cleaned.”

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On the one hand, having time to clean up before guests arrive is a success. On the other hand, it’s a little sad. Why do we do this for them and not for ourselves?

Try to be alone with yourself one day and think about what kind of space you would like to see around you. It's hardly a chaos of dust and stale socks. Try to turn cleaning into meditation - thoughtfully, without haste, bring the apartment closer to the image from your thoughts. And don’t forget for a minute that you are doing this for yourself.You give yourself comfort, freshness, cleanliness. You are not chasing formality, but creating a place where you will feel good. Along with the thrown garbage out of the house, anxious thoughts and confusion in business leave. It's getting better here every minute.

So, 5 bearded jokes – and 5 rules for living comfortably on your own territory. But in general, there is only one conclusion: harmony in the soul is what any household chores should lead to.