Women's cunning against men's laziness: what to do if your husband does not help around the house?

The position that cleaning and maintaining order is a woman’s responsibility is very convenient. If the husband does not help around the house, he will find 1000 and 1 arguments not to continue doing so. I can only advise my wife to have patience and wisdom. Re-educating an adult is always difficult. But with the right approach there are chances.

Conversations

Before using “heavy artillery,” you need to try to come to an agreement with your husband.

5 arguments in favor of the fact that a husband should help his wife around the house:

• A woman is not a robot. She also gets tired sometimes and may get sick or go on a business trip. Who will take care of the household chores then? You can't let housework rest on your shoulders alone. We need to support each other and at least occasionally replace each other.
• If a wife works equally with her husband, then household chores should be divided in half. And somehow it turns out unfair.
• Making money doesn't justify being a jerk. A self-sufficient person is able to serve himself and clean at least minimally. And it’s certainly unforgivable for any person to act like a jerk: throwing socks and toothpicks around, walking around the apartment with shoes on, not washing up after themselves and not using a brush.
• A woman loaded with household chores is tired, unkempt and angry. She needs help to take time for her beauty and recovery. Then she will again be cheerful, light and flirting, as at the beginning of their acquaintance.
• The owner of the house and head of the family is the husband. If everything is so, then the husband is responsible for the household.His responsibilities include monitoring and promptly eliminating breakdowns, as well as managing his wife as his assistant. And if the wife does all this, then what is the husband’s role? Rest? Alas, the heads do not have such a prerogative. Even presidents and directors.

Tricks

I must admit that talking alone rarely helps. If the husband has not had an epiphany, you can use feminine cunning.

• An example to follow. Find a man in your circle who helps his wife around the house. Invite your family into your home and casually bring up a topic that interests you: about men and cooking (“they say men are the best cooks”), about men and cleaning (“should boys be taught to wash floors and dishes”). Avoid openly complaining about your husband. It’s better after the guests leave, tell him that you would be glad if he began to help you in the same way as Petya helped his wife.
• Request during illness. If you get sick, don’t overpower yourself and stay in bed. Ask your husband for help. Teach him the easiest thing: vacuum and boil the dumplings.
• Invaluable help. Act from the position not of “you are obliged”, but of “your help is priceless.” Use phrases: “I couldn’t have done it without you. You are my hero. I have the best husband. You do everything so cleverly. All my friends are jealous of me."
• Positive reinforcement. If you want to change your husband’s behavior, psychologists advise you to reinforce any good deeds. Reward him with things he really loves. This could be kisses and hugs, praise, a favorite dish, a small gift, a fishing trip, etc.

Hit below the belt

It happens that it is impossible to reach your husband in a good way. If you are so boiling that you simply can’t stand it, you can use “prohibited techniques”:

• I'm leaving work. Say that housework takes a lot of time and you cannot combine both being a housewife and your main job. Find job openings and show how much housekeepers and nannies are paid. If you do everything around the house yourself, it turns out that you work 2-3 jobs.
• It's yours... put it away. If your husband ignores your requests, collect all the trash and dirty laundry and put it under his nose.
• Vacation. Without saying anything, take a ticket to the sea or to a sanatorium. Before leaving, confront your husband with a fact. Let him try to cope with household chores without you. Maybe he'll learn something. If not, at least you can rest.

Slowly but surely

Experienced women divide unhelpful husbands into Kings and Pigs. The former argue their point of view by saying that helping is not the royal business, while the latter, in principle, consider cleaning unnecessary. There is an opinion that neither one nor the other changes. But as we know, water wears away stones. Psychologists advise using detailed instructions for men instead of requests:

Say directly what kind of help you need from your husband: “help me wash the dishes,” “please collect your socks,” “repair the outlet tomorrow.” Men do not understand hints, and will certainly ignore your sighs, groans and lamentations.

A look from the other side

Most men do not help their wives around the house. There are several reasons for this:

• they were not accustomed to household duties from childhood (women cleaned the house);
• they are comfortable as is (they didn’t clean often in their parents’ family);
• provide for the family, and there is no time left to take care of the house.

For a husband, his wife’s intention to teach him to clean looks like an encroachment on life’s foundations and principles. To understand male emotions, a woman should imagine that her husband is forcing her to fix a car.Don't know how? Why you? So he has similar questions.

You need to ask for help, but it is important to do it gently and not overdo it. It is a rare man who is capable of taking full care of the house. There is no need to enter into conflict.

You can find a compromise:

• hire a cleaner who will clean the house once a week or month;
• purchase equipment that makes life easier: a robot vacuum cleaner, dishwasher, steam cleaner, etc.;
• change your views on cleanliness and clean less often.

Everyday life is exhausting and destroys even strong relationships. Think about whether scattered socks are worth your nerves and a warm relationship with your husband. After all, no person is perfect. Everyone has their own shortcomings. Perhaps you should forgive your beloved for laziness and carelessness. And absolutely, there is no need to focus too much attention on this. Peace of mind, wisdom and patience to you!