When you don’t want to go home: 7 reasons and 7 solutions from experienced psychologists

The working day is over. Or we’ve come to the end of a lecture at the university. Some people immediately rush home, while others trudge sadly, barely moving their feet, and choose the longest road. It would seem that this is nonsense, because where could it be better than within your own walls? But no, there are many reasons that make us shudder to wait for the moment when we have to cross the threshold of our home.

Conflicts with family

This is the most common reason. A person does not want to return home because he knows that he will not be welcome there. As soon as he crosses the threshold, moralizing, ridicule, and perhaps even physical abuse will begin.

The decision in this case depends on many factors. For example, if a woman is offended by her tyrant husband, it will not be easy for her to leave him with children and without an impressive “financial cushion.” However, you shouldn’t be patient - you can turn to law enforcement agencies and organizations for the protection of women victims of domestic violence for help.

If conflicts are limited to verbal skirmishes, you need to learn not to pay attention to the offender. After all, the life goal of such a person is to humiliate others. When he sees that he manages to piss someone off, it only gives him confidence and enthusiasm. Well, complete “ignoring” will force him to switch to another “victim”.

Overpopulation

It happens that several generations are forced to crowd into 40–50 square meters.Of course, this is not without misunderstandings: everyone is trying to introduce their own rules, the rest are resisting this, and the atmosphere is heating up to the limit. Everything is aggravated by the fact that in such an apartment there is no place to be alone, but every person needs personal space.

There is only one way out of this situation - to move out. If you don’t have money for rent, you can look for a job where the employer pays for renting an apartment or provides a room in a dorm. Single people should try shared rentals - living with a boyfriend or girlfriend is still more pleasant than living with conflicting relatives.

Loneliness

Those who are forced to return to an empty, dark and cold apartment don’t want to go home either. Despite the fact that with the advent of social networks and the widespread spread of the Internet, the problem of loneliness has ceased to be acute, some people still suffer from the absence of others like themselves. All that can be advised to them is to try to find their soulmate as soon as possible.

In the meantime, while you are looking for a loved one, it is worth getting a pet. A cat or dog will always wait for its owner and rejoice at his return.

Routine chores around the house

Sometimes home is associated with unpleasant, boring and boring responsibilities. Knowing that after returning he will have to follow the usual algorithm - wash the dishes, cook dinner, pack clothes for laundry and iron clean laundry, check how the children have completed their homework - the person tries to postpone this moment as much as possible.

To avoid the temptation to stay longer at work or go shopping until the night, you should try to change the situation:

• Distribute housework responsibilities equally among all family members.
• Hire a housekeeper who will come 1-2 times a week, clean up the mess and prepare food in reserve - then you can take it out of the freezer or refrigerator and heat it up in a few minutes.

Lack of an organized life

No one is happy about a protracted renovation, when you have to jump over bags of cement and boxes of tiles, endure a mess in the house, put up with the periodic lack of water in the tap or the inability to take a bath.

It’s even worse if a person has to live in a house without a centralized water supply, gas pipeline or sewerage system. The work immediately increases: in order to stay warm in winter, you have to chop wood, and in order to cook food or wash, you first need to bring several buckets of water. Improving living conditions usually requires significant investment, so not everyone can afford such luxury.

And if in the first case you just need to be patient a little - in a few months the repairs will be completed, and returning home will turn into a joy - then in the second you cannot do without drastic changes. Moving to another city, looking for a job with a high salary that will allow you to rent or buy good housing - this will take a lot of time.

Negative emotions

Not all houses and apartments are located in beautiful, prosperous areas. Many people have to live in gray buildings that look more like concrete boxes. The picture outside the window also does not inspire optimism - factory chimneys, faceless courtyards, crooked trees, like plucked trees, rickety fences or scribbled with curses.

It is unlikely that it will be possible to change the surrounding reality. Moving is the only way to get rid of post-apocalyptic landscapes.Selling or exchanging housing requires considerable costs, both material and moral, but the result is worth it.

New impressions

Often you don’t want to go home after a vacation in another city or country. When everything around you is new, when there is no need to do boring housework and solve work issues, when you have the opportunity to swim in the sea every day or walk among the beautiful mountains that do not exist in ordinary life, all human nature resists returning to your native land. New impressions are overwhelming, and it seems that it will always be good here, but this is nothing more than self-deception. Once you get home and resume your normal schedule, everything will go back to normal.

The main thing is to remember that any problem can be solved if you put some effort into it. It is unlikely that you will be able to change your life for the better by simply sitting in the office and complaining that you don’t want to go home. An unsettled life and lack of normal living conditions will not disappear on their own, and scandalous relatives will not suddenly turn into nice and polite people. Only our desires and efforts give the result we strive for.